Confidence is Up To You

This entry is part 28 of 28 in the series Leadership

Confidence is one of those words players and coaches throw around all the time.

“He is confident in his ability to defend.”

“She is confident in her ability to score.”

“He has confidence in passing.”

“She has confidence in her ball handling.”

That word confidence is so fickle and so relative to the situation. There is so much context that surrounds whether someone is confident. Would Steph Curry be confident on an episode of The Voice?  Would Alicia Keys be confident in Game 7 of the Finals?  I don’t think there’s much argument, that a fish out of water isn’t going to be very confident. These are, of course, extreme examples, but they illustrate one point.

I think we see confidence levels vary all the time in sports based on the environment. Some players or teams play with different levels of confidence, based on the opponent. In some cases, weather can impact confidence levels. I would argue that players or teams whose confidence is affected by these outside influences aren’t truly confident.

What makes anyone confident? The reason Tom Brady is confident in the last second drive at the Super Bowl is the same reason Sergio Garcia is confident on the last hole of the Master’s. They didn’t just wake up one day with confidence. Their coach didn’t give it to them. They weren’t just born with it. There isn’t a magic confidence pill. They worked really hard to become confident.

I’ve been asked a few times in the last month about how I instill confidence in my players. I’m pretty sure that I’ve never made any player confident. I believe that players make themselves confident. I’m not good enough to give my players confidence. Coaches can put players in situations to help them gain confidence. We can help players understand what true confidence is and what it takes to become confident. I can help players figure out why they might not be confident and what they can do to change it. However, f they want confidence, they have develop it.

Confidence is a like any muscle. The only way to help it grow is to work at it. You can’t just watch other confident people. You can’t just talk about it. If you want to be a confident chef, get in the kitchen and cook. If you want to be a confident player, get in the gym and play.

In a world of entitlement and instant gratification, there are a lot of unconfident people. It’s a vicious cycle that we find ourselves in. We see confidence and we like it. We think we can just go get buy it, or that it’s someone else’s job to give it to us. Then we find 100 excuses why we aren’t confident which reinforces our behavior and makes us even less confident. If you want to be confident, put in the time and the effort. At some point, you’ll be confident and you won’t even have to pretend.

 

 

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